?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

The nibble beast has returned.

Eating disorders suck, no matter which end of the spectrum that you're on. I'm a stress/anxiety eater but the last couple of weeks, a change in my BP meds made it that I was nauseated and had headaches and had no appetite. The first two I'm glad are gone now that I've adjusted but couldn't I have kept the third? I was down about 8 pounds due to not being able to get around when the back was out and then from the lack of appetite and over the last few days, I worry that I may have reversed some of that because my damned nervous nibbles have returned.

It's an artificial appetite, if that's a real thing. My brain tells my body that it's hungry when I know for a fact that I've had plenty to eat and it doesn't let go until I find something to eat. Granted, I'll make it small, like a few crackers or a piece of chocolate but have that happen enough times and you've shot any plans to get the weight you need to lose off.

So since I'm "on my own" as it were now, I have to plan ahead for grocery shopping this weekend. I need to have fresh cut vegetables on hand at all times to grab since those will fill me up better with less calories. I need to have healthy sources of protein that are easy to prepare. I need to food prep for lunches (also to save money).

One thing is that whatever I get, I have to like the taste of because I need to do this long term. This needs to become a habit because if I don't get my weight to a better level so that I can resume exercise without injury, then I'm going to be stuck in the constant cycle of back spasms every few months, knees that wobble like they're going to dislocate at a moment's notice and my new fun of hip flexors that ache and make me hobble around like I'm 90 years old. I'm flexible, too much so now that I know I have hypermobility issues, but I'm not strong. It's time to get strong in mind and body because I need to assure that I can take care of myself long term.

EDIT - I rewatched this video last night for inspiration. Love this.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
amethyst_witch
Sep. 14th, 2018 01:40 pm (UTC)
I think "artificial appetite" is definitely a real thing, and not that different from the artificial satiety I get (which I have to ignore and push through and EAT anyway, damn it).

All your plans here are solid :) Meal prepping and having healthy snacks on hand is huge and will make an enormous difference, and then once you've got all those great nutrients in your system you'll feel more ready for exercise. I love that you're going for STRONG, not skinny.

You rock--and you got this.

Can't wait to read all about your Tai Chi adventures in the coming weeks :) Proud of you <3

xo.
missdiane
Sep. 14th, 2018 01:54 pm (UTC)
I have another buddy with the same issue as you. Too bad we can't have the balance in the middle, right? EDs are a pain in the buuuuutttttttt.

LOL I will never be skinny. I've been obese since first grade so my system wouldn't have the first clue how to be "skinny" and it's unrealistic for me to strive for. My max weight was probably about 20 years ago when I got up to 265 and I'm only 5'1"ish. About 10 years ago I managed to get down to the 150s from food tracking and bellydance. But then it crept back up and in the last few years, although I've always had and will always have back issues, the hell-spasms begun and recur about every six months.

Thanks, m'dear! I surveyed my community on FB this morning to see if they want to do a vegetarian or vegan challenge. Doing these make me pay attention to what I'm eating and challenge myself to make new things so hopefully folks weigh in and want to do it.

I shall share my repelling of monkeys! LOL!!
amethyst_witch
Sep. 14th, 2018 02:18 pm (UTC)
Ah so I am not alone! Is it a guy or a gal? Just curious!

Skinny is overrated anyway--I bang my hip bones on EVERY doorknob and ledge and frame possible all the time o_O hurts like a bitch!! And no one ever has any damn sympathy lmfaoo.

Oh girl that is GREAT! I love hearing about Facebook being used for non-evils :) I look forward to seeing or reading about your veg dishes if that happens :D

LOL is that what Tai Chi was designed for???
missdiane
Sep. 14th, 2018 02:34 pm (UTC)
Tis a gal (that's genderfluid). She's not on LJ anymore, alas. Which is a bummer because she also writes and I'd love her to blog. Unfortunately there was some MAJOR drama on LJ that involved a longtime RL friend of hers also on LJ which was sad.

I'll post recipes for sure. Last time I did one, I figured out how to properly use tofu and make it taste good. Now it's semi-regularly in my diet.

Heh, the moves in tai chi have funny names. The teacher (I've taken her class several times in the past and she's lovely) teaches the Yang long form which these are the names of the moves - some vary slightly based on translation:

Beginning taiji
Left Peng
Grasp the sparrow’s tail (right)
Single whip
Step up to raise hands
White Crane spreads its wings
Brush left knee and push
Right hand strums the lute (pipa)
Brush left knee and push
Brush right knee push
Brush left knee push
Right hand strums the lute (pipa)
Brush left knee push (left)
Twist, deflect, step, parry and punch
Apparent close & counter with push
Cross hands
Carry the tiger to the mountain
Double whip
Beware of the fist under the elbow.
Retreat to repulse monkey (right)
Retreat to repulse monkey (left)
Retreat to repulse monkey (right)
Retreat to repulse monkey (left)
Retreat to repulse monkey(right)
Oblique flying
Step up to raise hands
White Crane spreads its wings
Brush left knee and push
Needle to the bottom of the sea
Fan through the back
Turn and cast fist (begin 5 punches)
Twist, deflect, step, parry, punch
Grasp the sparrow’s tail
Single whip
Cloud hands (5 times)
Single whip
High pat on horse
Parting kick (right)
Parting kick (left)
Turn and kick with left heel
Brush left knee and push
Brush right knee push
Brush left knee and punch down
Turn & white snake darts out tongue
Twist, deflect, step, parry and punch
Right rising kick
Hit tiger (left)
Hit tiger (right)
Kick with heel (right)
Double wind to the ears
Left rising kick
Spin and kick with right heel
Twist, deflect, step, parry, punch
Apparent close & counter with push
Cross hands
Carry the tiger to the mountain
Oblique single whip
Part the horse’s mane (right)
Part the horse’s mane (left)
Part the horse’s mane (right)
Part the horse’s mane (left)
Part the horse’s mane (right)
Left Peng
Grasp the sparrow’s tail (right)
Single whip
Jade maiden weaves shuttles (left)
Jade maiden weaves shuttles (right)
Jade maiden weaves shuttles (left)
Jade maiden weaves shuttles (right)
Left Peng
Grasp the sparrow’s tail (right)
Single whip
Cloud hands (5 times)
Single whip
Snake creeps to the left
Golden Rooster stands on left leg
Golden Rooster stands on right leg
Retreat to repulse monkey (right)
Retreat to repulse monkey (left)
Retreat to repulse monkey (right)
Retreat to repulse monkey (left)
Retreat to repulse monkey(right)
Oblique flying
Step up to raise hands
White Crane spreads its wings
Brush left knee and push
Needle to the bottom of the sea
Fan through the back
Turn and cast fist (begin 5 punches)
Twist, deflect, step, parry, punch
Grasp the sparrow’s tail
Single whip
Cloud hands (5 times)
High pat on horse
Piercing palm
Cross leg kick
Step forward and punch groin
Walking Grasp the sparrow’s tail
Single whip
Snake creeps left with fist
Step up to form the seven stars
Raise right leg
Sit back to ride the tiger
Turn and right leg sweeps the lotus
Draw the bow to shoot the tiger
Twist, deflect, step, parry, punch
Apparent close & counter with push
Cross hands
amethyst_witch
Sep. 14th, 2018 02:36 pm (UTC)
REPULSE MONKEY!! Omg I love this!! hahaha!!!

I'm really sorry to hear about your old friend and the drama :( It's terrible when that happens.
amethyst_witch
Sep. 14th, 2018 02:14 pm (UTC)
I KICK BALLS
OMG!! I LOVE THE AD! I totally almost cried at the sheer amount of GIRL POWER in this!! Omg. The girl with Downs--I yelled out YEAH YOU GO GIRL!! right here on the porch LOL.

Thanks for sharing :D
missdiane
Sep. 14th, 2018 02:36 pm (UTC)
Re: I KICK BALLS
It was a whole campaign in the UK and there are other mini videos which feature the ladies in these and others. If you search "This Girl Can" on YT, you can find some other cool videos.

Isn't it wonderful? While looking for it last night, I found this Always ad that I liked too.
https://youtu.be/XjJQBjWYDTs
amethyst_witch
Sep. 14th, 2018 07:47 pm (UTC)
RE: Re: I KICK BALLS
YES YES YES--I'd seen this one and LOVE it. I cried my ass off the first time I watched it...and maybe the second and third times, too. It struck a chord with me so deeply. I want to be BFFs with the girl in the dark blue dress and bright lipstick :)

njlorelei
Sep. 14th, 2018 10:43 pm (UTC)
I’m right there with you. There are nights I’ll be sitting watching tv, late, there is no way I need to eat, but I start thinking I’m hungry and unless I get up and go up to bed the craving for food gets so bad that I end up eating something and usually it’s something not healthy.

Love the ad!
a_phoenixdragon
Sep. 17th, 2018 07:58 am (UTC)
*HUGS YOU*

You'll get this beat, honey. Half the solution is knowing what the issue is, before tackling it. And you are there and aware of your body and how it reacts.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

September 2018
S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Akiko Kurono