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Siblings suck. A tale of woe

My coworkers are surprised that I'm at work today since I wasn't supposed to be in untl maybe noon tomorrow what with my sister and BIL in town. My answer to them are "Yeah, you'd think. But screw them." It's been a never ending stretch of complete nonsense with them and I have had ENOUGH. They can have the rest of their vacation doing whatever they want in NJ or NYC or whereever and then they can find their own way home. I'm done caring. I was long done caring after the first day, actually.

I predicted it would be a long week with this post and yeah, it has been. To finish out that frustrating day, no, I didn't hear from them so around 7-something that evening, I texted to make sure they were alive and kicking since the parents were getting concerned by then. The sister answered about 20 minutes later that she "just woke up and threw up." I answered with semi-concern (because I was already smelling BS) asking whether they were both sick and she answered no, just acid reflux and sinus. She then texted 10 minutes later - mind you, 8:15pm when she knows that I am many times about ready to go to bed by then which I was that night - asking if I wanted to come over and get food with them. What? No. I'm ready for bed. So she asked if we could get together in the morning. Ok, great.

Next morning comes and since I predicted I wouldn't hear from them until the double digits, I made and ate some breakfast. She finally emerged about 10:30 and we made plans for them to drive us all down to Princeton. We stopped at Panera Bread on the way down which OMG my sister eats like a freaking HORSE. She had an entire 4+inch quiche, half of a massive slab of cinnamon roll, several bites of her husband's bagel and a big-ass mocha drink. I had a fruit cup and half of an iced tea since my breakfast snack did me well before that. I also heard about the gargantuan amount of food that she ordered and ate late last night from Noodle Gourmet. She went on about how good it was but I know Noodle Gourmet. It's around the block from where I first worked at Rutgers and it's cheap, kind of meh Chinese food.

Anyway, I found out on the drive down that no, they didn't go to the hotel and sleep. Instead they drove out to Red Bank and to the Jersey Shore and had a grand old time while leaving me sitting at home waiting for communication. The reason she got sick was from eating an obnoxious amount of food that day. Seems the second meal after their McDonalds was Friendlys. Really? You come to NJ and eat at shitty chain places? Then when we were sitting in Princeton in a little Italian store/cafe having a snack (me munching on some artichoke salad, sis - mind you, this is only a couple of hours later - eating half a calzone and half a pound of mozzarella balls while she'd been drinking cherry coke all day), they revealed the reason why they even bothered to interact with me on this trip. It was to talk about the aging parents and essentially lecture me that I need to communicate with them vital conversations that I have with the parents. They also presumed to gripe about the reverse mortgage my parents got probably 10 years ago (that actually helped them get above water and stay in their house) and that my parents spend too much on food at places like Whole Foods and Trader Joe's. Mind you, my sister bought a LEXUS the day before she came to NJ. They acted as if they were the only ones in good financial straits. Uh, no. Let's check that debt-to-income ratio sometime, peeps. That conversation didn't piss me off as much then as it did hours later as I thought about it and got angry that they are clearly trying to control me and the parents like they are the only ones with sage advice, money and smarts. Fuck them with a rusty chainsaw.

Since Sis wanted to go into NYC for NYE though the BIL didn't, I suggested that the two of them go in that evening of the 30th and have dinner in the city and see the lights before it got crazy the next day. They thought that was a good idea and dropped me off about 2pm, presumably to go to NYC. I texted them several hours later to tease Sis to make sure they weren't eating at some chain restaurant like Olive Garden in NYC. I got a text back with a picture of a long plate with three fancy donuts and a joke that Olive Garden got new desserts. Problem for Sis is that I recognized those donuts. Clearly she wanted to make me think that the two of them were in NYC but I've had those donuts - at a restaurant nearby their hotel about a mile from me. So they went to dinner locally and didn't bother to invite me.

The next day - New Year's Eve, we had loose plans that evening for Emily and I to go into New Brunswick to meet them and have dinner locally and watch the fireworks shooting off their hotel. I texted them (again, this shit is getting old) around 10:30 to see if they were going to go to the 1pm hockey game in Newark they were planning to go or whether we were going to New Hope, PA like we discussed.

I got a reply that they were in Grand Central Terminal. *sigh* So, when was I going to find THIS out? They claimed they were going to keep me updated when I told them that we were probably going to order food in and have NYE at my place and maybe go watch the fireworks from a park two blocks from me because the rain was going to make things sucky out. I didn't hear from them and both Emily and I were worn out about 9 and called it a night. I had to look on Facebook about 4ish earlier that afternoon where they posted a picture that they were in Times Square subway station and let everyone on FB think they were doing the ball drop in Times Square. Not surprisingly that was also a lie because I saw the next morning that she texted at midnight that they had shortly after that picture travelled back to NJ...and of course didn't bother to tell me.

The next day, I replied to her BS Happy New Year text in kind and got a reply a little while later asking if I wanted to go to New Hope and to Hoboken (gee, do I want to ride around in a car all day when I get carsick? Boy, do I!) I replied that I had made lunch plans and Emily and I ran errands and had lunch. I prodded about 2pm to see what was up and got a vague nothing response. Then the coup de grace of rudeness. She texts me after 5pm saying that Hey! You and Emily want to go have dinner with us? We made reservations at an Italian place!

At 8:15pm

In Chelsea in NYC.

THE FUCK? NO.

I replied - which I was the model of restraint this entire time - that there is work the next day and that is later than either one of us is up and NYC is rather far. I got a ha ha text that they go to bed at 11:30 on work nights. No offer to compromise at all. I have a feeling that the invitation was made as absurd as possible, knowing full well that I'd decline but that she thinks she scores points by making the offer. Just like she thinks she scores points by fucking over the parents on Christmas by showing up to the brunch that Dad was making for everyone two hours late, staying less than half an hour, not eating any of the food they made and they didn't even take off their coats.

I'm at work this morning rather than taking the day off to spend it with them because I'm not going to sit at home for hours only to find out that they traipsed off to NYC or something. That and I honesty don't want to see them - in ALL honesty - I don't want to see them ever again. They can have the rest of their vacation with their lie that they were coming to see me and they can find their own way back to the airport and go the flying fuck home. I'm pondering finding a way to delete my Facebook but update Mom more regularly since that's how she checks on me. I may use a dummy account for the local stuff I follow there.

My lottery dream has been updated as a result of all this and I'm bummed I didn't win the mega millions last night. If I win the lotto, I'm telling the parents not to tell the Sister and I'll secretely move them here to NJ to live with me in a nice place. Sis will find out after the fact...on Facebook. LET THIS DREAM HAPPEN, UNIVERSE.

I may go home in a couple of hours anyway because cramps, headache and nausea have set in like nobody's business. I'm sure partially due to stress. 

Comments

( 18 comments — Something to say? )
threecee
Jan. 2nd, 2019 05:25 pm (UTC)
Once again, I am grateful for being an only child.

missdiane
Jan. 2nd, 2019 06:49 pm (UTC)
That has its drawbacks, I’m sure. But right now I wouldn’t mind that at all
amethyst_witch
Jan. 2nd, 2019 06:40 pm (UTC)
Rudeness SO MUCH rudeness o_O
Yeaaaah... When people eat stuff like Mc Donald's (especially) or any fast food chain garbage, I NEVER believe them when they tell me the "food was great!" somewhere. Like, what do you know? You clearly don't even have taste buds...

How super lame to leave you hanging like that all night while they had their grand ol' time o_O but you don't sound super surprised. :(

And then the blow off local dinner next?? What the hell? NOT surprised she's a huge liar on Fbook, either, since it seems to be her regular M.O.

And then the dinner un-vitation OMG, Diane, wtf?? As you can tell, I like to read chunks and comment as I go along (so I don't forget anything, and it's more like a real conversation this way) and wow just WOWW!!! I keep having to go up and change things because as soon as I think she can't sink any lower... o_O But yeah that "invite" to the Italian place at 8:15 was a BS invite. She is super transparent; does she think she's clever??

*sighs*

This was so uncool. I'm sorry your sister is a mean flake. I think it's a GREAT idea to call your Mom and tell her you made a new, secret account and just add the people who you know you can really trust <3





missdiane
Jan. 2nd, 2019 06:54 pm (UTC)
RE: Rudeness SO MUCH rudeness o_O
I don’t know why I ever continue to get my hopes up that she or her jerkoff of a husband will be considerate. The last time they came it was ok, but I think that’s because the BIL was taking a seminar so since Sis didn’t want to do stuff on her own, she was more accommodating.

But I have had eeeenough of them. Oh, I did go home because along with the cramps et al, the stomach started being iffy and we were back down to one ladies room for the entire building today so I wasn’t comfortable sticking around. Didn’t hear from them but on FB, they’re traipsing around NYC. So if I had taken off today, I would have been screwed over yet again.
amethyst_witch
Jan. 2nd, 2019 06:57 pm (UTC)
Re: Rudeness SO MUCH rudeness o_O
I don’t know why I ever continue to get my hopes up that she or her jerkoff of a husband will be considerate.

Because you're a good person! Because you want to give people a chance to improve and grow! Because you are the bigger person.

But I agree, it's gotta stop. You deserve better and it's just not healthy.

Oh, and remember it only LOOKS like they're traipsing around NYC. They may have actually stopped to take one photo and are back in a local McDonald's right now *LOL*

sidhe_uaine42
Jan. 2nd, 2019 06:43 pm (UTC)
Didn't know that we were related!
One of my siblings is the reason that I cannot get a bank account or a passport/visa identity theft sucks unfiltered Flint, Michigan water, and the other keeps promising to visit but backs out at the last minute with outrageous excuses.

The second one keeps asking me to go over to his apartment, not caring that it takes me three busses to get to his apartment, while he has access to a cab and I live within sneezing distance of an emergency room if he has a seizure! I also live in a building that's wired for any medical emergency ADA compliant, plus my trio will react to any medical emergency.

The first one stole two checkbooks, forged my signature several times, stole/pawned a cameo that belonged to my late grandmother that I got after she passed away, and several other things that I can kvetch about...
missdiane
Jan. 2nd, 2019 06:57 pm (UTC)
RE: Didn't know that we were related!
Yikes! You have me beat with the criminal activity! Don’t suppose you ever tried to press charges? Blood ties only go so far.

I had my sister back out on visiting so many times that when they finally showed up, I was shocked. I had lived here 10 years with no visit, including one time where I found out through my parents that two days before Thanksgiving, they decided to drive off and stay in Asheville NC instead
sidhe_uaine42
Jan. 3rd, 2019 12:09 am (UTC)
RE: Didn't know that we were related!
Sister and BIL have to be found first they have a file with Milwaukee police close to a score old of forgery, identity theft and other sh!t. They also have files with the phone companies, two television/internet companies, three grocery stores and several other places because they tried to get services in another person's name, including our late parents after they passed.

If you're asking whether or not I'm p!ssed, what makes you think that?
missdiane
Jan. 3rd, 2019 01:23 pm (UTC)
Re: Didn't know that we were related!
I certainly would be. Hell, the urge to buy pitchforks and torches and hunt them down has to be strong. I hope they arrest them soon. Sounds like they're screwing over a lot of people and deserve to be chucked in jail.

You can't control who you're related to but you can control whether you truly consider them family. Your sibling and her shit husband certainly aren't worth a damned dime and I'm sorry that they've put you through pain.
spikesgirl58
Jan. 2nd, 2019 09:30 pm (UTC)
Aw, siblings, there's nothing like them. This is why I keep as little communication with mine as possible.
missdiane
Jan. 3rd, 2019 12:57 pm (UTC)
I'll be doing that. I'm going to limit FB use for sure. I tend to get ticked off at their updates now
spikesgirl58
Jan. 3rd, 2019 01:02 pm (UTC)
And another reason to avoid FB all together.
missdiane
Jan. 3rd, 2019 01:09 pm (UTC)
I would if not for the updates of stuff that goes on in my town, my vegan support group and keeping Mom updated.

Though I think I'll possibly post more pictures and such on DW and send Mom the link so she can click on there to see what's going on with me.
spikesgirl58
Jan. 3rd, 2019 02:53 pm (UTC)
There you go then. That would be one answer.
spiffikins
Jan. 3rd, 2019 03:44 am (UTC)
Oh man - I'm sorry your siblings suck!

At least you were forewarned (by experience) and forearmed that they were likely to act rudely - and didn't waste too much of your time sitting around waiting on them!

Still, there's a part of you that is disappointed that they lived down to your expectations - it would have been nice to be pleasantly surprised!


missdiane
Jan. 3rd, 2019 12:59 pm (UTC)
It always seems to amaze me that no matter how low I manage to make my expectations, they seem to limbo right under that bar with ease.

Hopefully by now they've dropped off their rental car and are on the way to the airport to LEAVE. I don't know since I haven't heard from them since that bullshit dinner invite on the 1st.
njlorelei
Jan. 10th, 2019 03:43 am (UTC)
This post pisses me off. Your sis and BIL are ridiculous. I’m so glad you didn’t sit around waiting for them to do things, but man it sucks.

I’m pretty sure you can set up your FB so that your sis can’t see your posts but still keep her as a friend. She won’t be the wiser that you are posting stuff.
missdiane
Jan. 10th, 2019 02:16 pm (UTC)
I haven't heard anything from their entitled asses since I got a blowoff BS "sorry we didn't get to spend more time together!" text as she was heading to the airport. They are such assholes and I don't EVER intend to go out of my way for them. I certainly won't feel obligated to even contact them when I get a chance to visit my parents in Ohio.

FB is generally annoying anyway so I figure it's better to keep interactions there to a minimum. I've only been keeping an eye on my vegan community, a food porn one and a local one.
( 18 comments — Something to say? )